And April showers bring…bad metaphors?

I apologize for the complete lack of posts over the past month or so. Life has been unbelievably busy. I can swear to be better in the next months, but the sunny weather of the past few days has made me even less eager to post. To pay some quick catch-up, in the past month, I’ve: travelled to San Francisco and Whidbey Island, entertained my parents and youngest sister in Seattle, read a ridiculous number of books, started training for Bloomsday, a seven mile race in Spokane, snowshoed for the first time (it’s my new favorite activity), and received more rejections from grad schools than I’d like to admit.
Admittedly, my lack of posting is completely due to the last point. I’ve been so distracted by my future plans that I knew that a post on any other topic would inevitably swing into discourse on the unknowable future. I’m not even sure that it’s wise for me to post any speculation on the point right now, given the unstable nature of grad school admissions, but I need to get it out somewhere, and I know that my housemates are tired of hearing me complain with impatience. I applied for grad school in one of the worst seasons in years. Cohorts have shrunk dramatically, and funding has dried up, so my options are dramatically different than they would have been in years past. My options are much more limited, especially in terms of funding. The landscape of academia is changing, and it’s unfortunate that such alterations are occurring in the year I have decided to enter into graduate school.
It’s when I realize facts like this one that I almost regret my decision to enter JVC over grad school, but then, I remember that I never would have come to know of my passion for academia without JVC, and I’m snapped back to reality. As many people are eager to remind me, if I had gone straight to grad school, I’d be finishing my first year of law school right now. I can barely wrap my head around that now. I understand myself so much better than I did a year ago, and I give JVC all the credit for being a catalyst to positive change. I can’t imagine handling the stress of admissions with the state of mind I had right before graduation last year. More importantly, I can’t imagine making the decision I must make with that mindset.
So, enough suspense, here’s my current situation: I’ve been accepted to two master’s programs. One is at the University of Rochester; this program has everything I want: the good name, small cohort size, a decent ranking, a great contemporary literature program, and potential for overlap into film and theater studies. The other is SUNY Buffalo: again, I have a good name and decent ranking, but here I know people. Buffalo’s program isn’t what I want, but it offers familiarity. I miss the city and the people in it like crazy. It’s the safe option, and that’s never been a good option for me. I don’t know anyone in Rochester, but from what I’ve heard, it’s a good city for someone with my background. My mom went to college there, and she really liked it. I’ve also been wait-listed for my Ph.D. at Case Western in Cleveland, but I don’t even want to think about it and get my hopes up, but it could throw a wrench in everything. I’m forcing myself to focus on the two master’s acceptances and not dream about full funding for five years (I don’t want to even imagine making that choice).
I’m leaning toward Rochester, as if that isn’t obvious from my tone. I don’t want to say for sure that that’s where I’ll go, but I’ve given it a whole lot of thought. I’m required to decide on Buffalo by April 15th, but I don’t want to decide yet. I don’t think I’m ready to sacrifice comfort as an option.